'There is no such thing as 'fun for the whole family.''

'When you kiss someone, your heart goes out to them, and when you're done kissing them your heart goes back in.'

“I like lights on buildings, because without them you wouldn't be able to see all the beauty in the world.” (About the lights on the football field at the local highschool.)

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

“I wasn't yawning, I was just letting some fresh air into my mouth.” (After being accused of being tired.)